Bloob Muffins

Prep time: 10 minutes

Cook time: 30 minutes

Serving size: 10 muffins

I totally understand that the thought of baking muffins for your kids may seem like a ridiculous chore but I promise you, it will take two seconds. You probably have most if not all of these ingredients in your house right now. What’s even better is that you can make this batter the night before and store it in the fridge until you hear the pitter=patter of tiny complaining feet in the morning. And these bitches are completely customizable. If your little shits don’t like blueberries, use strawberries instead. If they don’t like blueberries or strawberries, send them back where they came from!

WHAT GOES IN IT

1 cup of milk, any kind

1 cup of quick cooking oats

1 egg

1 tsp of vanilla

¼ cup of unsweetened applesauce

1 cup of all-purpose flour

3/4 cup of brown sugar

2 tsp of baking powder

½ tsp of salt

1 1/2 cups of blueberries, fresh or frozen

Sprinkle of white sugar (optional)

HOW YOU MAKE IT

Preheat oven to 375°F or forget to do this and then wait for your oven to preheat after you’ve prepared everything.

Line muffin tin with muffin cups- trust me here. You could grease the tin but then you need to scrub it later and that shit sucks. I would also recommend spraying the liners with a bit of cooking spray if you have it, these babies can be sticky and who wants to fight with a wrapper?

In a small bowl, combine your milk, oats, vanilla and applesauce and let that bastard get soggy for about 15 mins. Perhaps take this time to think about your life choices.

In a separate bowl, beat the egg then stir into oatmeal mixture. Add flour, sugar, baking powder and salt and stir mixture into wet ingredients, just until combined. Then, add your blueberries to the batter and gently fold until they’re evenly distributed. Be gentle, you don’t want them to explode and turn the whole thing purple.

Spoon batter into prepared muffin cups right to the top. This way when they cook you’ll get sweet little muffin caps and we know that’s everyone’s favourite part. Give each one a sprinkle of the sugar on top so that a sweet little crust develops, or don’t your choice.

Bake these bitches for 30 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean or your kids will complain they’re still mushy in the middle.